New Directions Counseling Service

My ex husband is an abuser and was sent to your program as court ordered treatment. Your organization knows nothing about abuse. Under your direction and care, my husband got continually worse & subjected me to inhuman psychological torture. You need to get a copy of "Why Does He do That?" By Lundy …

My ex husband is an abuser and was sent to your program as court ordered treatment. Your organization knows nothing about abuse. Under your direction and care, my husband got continually worse & subjected me to inhuman psychological torture. You need to get a copy of "Why Does He do That?" By Lundy Bancroft & use it as your new curriculum for all therapists. Abuse changes all the rules. This means the traditional coddling of clients and letting them make their own discoveries is WRONG when it comes to abusers. The idea that no thought or feeling is wrong in therapy is WRONG when it comes to abusers. You should not be listening to and validating abusers, as all it really does is encourage abusers to think they are justified in their behavior. Abuse happens because the abuser feels entitled to do it because of a broken though process. Like Bancroft says, abuse is like poison ivy. You can't just pluck it because it will grow back. You have to go down to the very root, which is the wrong thoughts & feelings, & accost them and challenge them & make it known they are WRONG. Every time you empathized with my husband about his (WRONG & NOT based in reality) ideas about me, he felt completely justified in coming home and taking it all out on me. (Even the therapist sees how much you stress me!) You took an oath right? You are helping abusers abuse because your whole treatment concept of them is WRONG. Please educate yourselves before you help your abusers destroy any more lives.